Concept of Twilight: Light and Darkness 002

Currently Playing: Nana Kitade - Unerasable Sin

"Well, here I go yet again...Watch me, watch me closely as I tell the tale of my life as it reaches its end..."

Well, it's Monday again. And I don't know which I should be more thankful for; the fact that I am back in school again, or the fact that I seem to have made it through another week alive. -Sigh.- Mina and Jou are still away, so Rae and I have been left home alone yet again. Ch' well it isn't something that we are not use to by now. It's something that we just have gotten use to since it has just been a constant frequency. Rae, of course is pissed off at the fact, but he makes do, glad, I think, that at least I am here for him. And he knows that I will never walk out on him. He knows that I will never ever turn my back on him.

Well, since it was Monday there was school that needed to be attended to. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love school, but there are a few people that I know..not mentioning any names who are completely against it, and only come because they have to, or else are forced to. But yeah, regardless they have found themselves here at school. It was your typical Monday morning in mid-autumn. There was a cooling breeze blowing, and the wind played an odd melody through the trees, I had listened to said melody the entire way to school.

Himitsu and Max did not accompany me today as I walked to school, so I wound up walking to school with Rae, not that I can really complain. It had been some time since it had just been the two of us walking to school, as most often I was with Himitsu and Max, and he was with Ace and the others. So I felt somewhat of a natural gratitude to our being able to just be the two of us. It managed to ease my mind of some of my more--troubling thoughts.

Rae and I arrived at the school around eight fifteen, and as I was taking my seat in my first hour class I noticed Max and Himitsu walked in, and neither were wearing their school uniforms. Blinking I glanced up at them, and then looked down their forms. "Um--hey, guys, where are your uniforms?" At my questioning both held up notes, slipping in to sit in their spots across the table from me.

"Forged signature," said Himitsu simply, pulling out her notepad and beginning to work on one of her pictures. Judging by what I had seen, the image had looked like a dark angel, standing alone with a pool of embers pooling around her ankles as said flames leapt up and seemed to encompass her form.

When Mrs. Yukimura entered, she glanced at my two friends and walked over. Himitsu held up her note without so much as a glance at her, and Max followed her lead, handing her own note to the teacher. Mrs. Yukimura read the notes and then nodded, although somewhat hesitant and then turned and walked towards her desk. Placing the notes on her desk, and then walking to the board beginning to go over notes for tomorrow's quiz. And that was about how the rest of the day passed. Nothing seemed to go wrong, and all my classes went just fine. The only thing that I was somewhat uneased with was the fact that Himitsu didn't seem to be talking to me as much as she usually did. But that, I reasoned, was just do to the fact that she had just lost her father to the war, her only parent..and she lost him. It would take her some time to recover, I knew that.

Well, as it turned out the four of us (Rae, Max, Himitsu, and I) all decided to go and spend some time at the park after school. Rae, it seemed wanted to spend less time with his friends, and more time with me, for--some reason or another. Himitsu, finally came out of her somberness to comment about Rae crushing on me, and my liking him. At such, both Rae's face and my own seemed to do two very good impressions of a cherry. Blushing, I looked away, hearing distantly Himitsu's mock laugh, and her playful voicing of, "Payback time." Now--that was the Himitsu we all knew, and she was back, if but only for a short while...

Night soon setted in on us, and as the sun was sinking into the horizon the four of us went our separate ways and headed home. We bid farewell to Max as she turned and headed the opposite way of all of us, and then Himitsu, Rae and I headed towards our own homes. Arriving at our avenue, Rae and I bid farewell to Himitsu and then headed into our home. Once inside, I began to ponder what to have for dinner, although I wasn't really all that hungry..neither was Rae, so evidently we just wound up skipping dinner and basically went straight to bed. For some reason, the two of us were just exhausted beyond seeming belief.

Later that night, I awoke with a sudden start, having sensed something to be wrong. Throwing off my covers I headed to my window and looked out it, just in time to see Himitsu wandering towards the falls. I felt a sudden shiver down my spine, and then turned only to find myself face-to-face with none other then Mallos.

Gasping I stepped back, before overcoming my alarmed shock with yet another quiet gasp. "Mallos," I breathed a sigh of relief. "Don't do that, I had the feeling that you were someone else."

The seer just looked at me expression one taken by curiosity.

"I did not mean to frighten you, but I thought that you should know...your friend..she is heading for the falls, and for the bridge," said Mallos.

"She what?!" I gasped, as I realized what he had meant, reading between the lines of his words. It was just that...Himitsu was going to jump from the bridge. A suicidal attempt.

Gasping, I shook my head, grabbed my fall jacket, slipped on my shoes and headed out into the brisk autumn night. Following after Himitsu I found my way to the falls. Mallos being my only companion, he spoke little, but at least he was with me, he was all I had to keep myself form totally losing my mind. Of all people, I hadn't expected Himitsu to--but then again; as I recalled what she was, I saw the reason in her attempt all the more clearer. But that didn't mean that I was going to let her do it.

Hurrying to the falls, I arrived on the bridge.

Himitsu was standing on the railing arms outstretched at arms length. She was getting ready to jump. "Himitsu!" I cried, and ran to her, gasping her arm I tugged her from the ledge and onto the bridge.

Opening her eyes, Himitsu looked back at me, and I saw worry and fear there. I saw pain..and a deep sorrow. "Oh, Himitsu..." I brushed my hand against her bangs to better see her eyes. "What were you thinking..."

Himitsu looked at me, fighting back tears.

"I'm sick of this, Fox..I am so sick of this life I am living. This Hell that I am seeming condemned to live...I just want it to go away..I just want the pain, the loneliness, to all just go away..." She buried her face in my shoulder, and I finally heard her sob as the tears fell. "I don't belong here, Fox. I don't belong in this world..all I do is create pain and suffering, and I am all alone."

"Hush," I told her gently stroking her hair. "You do not, and you are not alone, Himitsu. You have your friends. You have me, and Max. You have Logan, and Ace, Rae...We are all here for you."

"You don't understand," said Himitsu somberly. "All my life I have known pain..all my life, all I have seemed to see is death and pain...sorrow and loss. I am just so sick of it...I want it all to just go away. I want it all to just--end. Everything. I want it to just all go away, to end." Her voice shook in slight anger, anger set against herself.

Beside me Mallos flinched and then kneeled beside her. "You say that you know pain..and that what you have known is so unbearing that the only way to make it go away is by ending your own life...Well, let me tell you something..." His voice fell low and somewhat cold. "What you have known, and what you have seen is minor compared to what I have known..." He then raised his hands to Himitsu and focusing he began to implant a few of his visions into her, giving her just the slightest taste of the pain he had known all his life.

Himitsu cried out, and I looked at him.

"What are you doing? Stop it! Leave her alone!" And I pushed Mallos back, he stumbled back away from Himitsu, who suddenly leapt up from my arms and back up onto the ledge, looking down she brought out her wings and then dived down, wings unfolding and catching the current as she rose up and flew off.

"Himitsu!" I cried. Leaping up onto the ledge and following her lead, as my own wings took form from my back. Looking back I gasped in soft sorrow and regret at Mallos, my eyes downcast, but I was too focused on Himitsu as I dove off the ledge and began to plummet towards the shallow waters below. My wings uncurled as I caught a current and then was airborne. I headed after Himitsu, just in time to see her as she began to fall from the sky. Gasping I picked up speed, caught her and braced, letting myself down gently. Landing near the swings in the park we had all spent so much time at in the past last week.

As it turns out, Mallos had given Himitsu several rather unpleasant visions. One had been the vision of Max's death...the seizures were indeed going to be what would kill her, and it was soon. A second, had been the vision of how her own father had died, which had been just a few days ago...But the third, was perhaps the most devastating...Mallos had revealed to Himitsu the end of the world, and had shown to her that the world would indeed end with a final clash between light and shadow. Himitsu was the shadow...and---well, that part you will learn within time. But in that vision he had revealed to Himitsu the fact that she would take so many lives..the lives of people we knew, that she knew..and the lives of people..we did not.

Then, I, of course, being what I was, saw the pain and terror reflected on my friend's face, and did what any one of my sort would. I did the only thing that came to mind. Raising a hand to her I tried healing the pain, yet all it did was merely offer a calming to the pain she was enduring, and then Mallos reappeared. "Do you want it to go away?" he asked Himitsu, and my friend merely nodded. Then Mallos kneeled beside her and raising his hand to her, he took back most of the visions and the pain that he had given her. Leaving a few, the less drastic ones in her mind.

Himitsu's eyes reflected apathy, as the lively color seemed to return to them, and then she sat up. Looking at Mallos and I. She held a hand to her head. "I killed..so many people..." she muttered and Mallos looked away.

"What do you mean, Himitsu?" I asked.

My friend looked back at me, with now wandering eyes. Yet eyes that seemed blank and unsure of what emotion to feel at the time. "Fox," she said softly."'I am the darkness..I will be the one responsible for ending the world."

"Himitsu," I said. "The world will only end with a final clash of light and shadow. Shadow alone cannot be what ends this world. There must be a clash of both light and darkness, and then only then will that be when this world does indeed end." I looked at her with a soft but questioning expression. Yet when I explained to her the truth about Armageddon and how the world could not end without an equal force of light, my voice had been straight forward and for certain. Softened though, by the kindess I tried to instill within my friend to calm her.

"No, you don't understand," protested Himitsu obcviously unwilling to listen to anything that I had to say to try and calm her. "I am the one who will end the world. I am to be the one responsible for the end..."

I sighed softly.

"Himitsu, listen to me--" but before I could go on, my friend had stood and brushed herself off. Turning her back to me.

"I am going home. Ja." And then she left, leaving me and Mallos alone.

I turned to Mallos. "I'm sorry," he said. "But she had to know. She had to know that the pain she feels in just natural..it was the only way that I could think of...I am sorry, but there was no other way."

"No," I said voice soft with shame. "I am sorry, I shouldn't have shoved you like I did on the bridge. I know you were only trying to help..."

Mallos looked to me, as if not sure how to approach this protest of mine. But he didn't need to, for only momentarily did I glance towards the sky, and then voiced,"'I think I am going to head home as well. Take care, Mallos, and goodnight." I then stood and headed off in the direction Himitsu had.

"Yes," whispered Mallos. "Goodnight."

And then he was gone, disappearing into a soft mist.

Well, I finally arrived home around ten something that night, and as night would have it, I found myself lost in repentament. I was praying outloud to Inari for the longest time I think that I have ever done. I was praying, begging to her to undo what had been done. I found myself begging to her that if it would save Himitsu and Max, then I would gratefully give up my angelic-half. If it could all be undone...but I was was only fooling myself. Yet still, I kept praying, crying out to Inari to spare them.

I knew the world would end with a final clash between light and shadow, and I knew that Himitsu was the shadow...but I did not know who the light was. I had a feeling, but it was not yet made for a certain. Yet, I seemed to know that in my heart, the one who would meet Himitsu as the world ended, was--me.

I was torn from my thoughts and prayers as I heard a tap on the window. But I did not turn to face it, I knew who was there. She crept into my room, and gently placed a hand around my shoulder. I knew..I knew that she had heard my cries, my prayers...and she was sentimental about them. There was no mockery in her voice, and her actions were gentle.

The two of us then began to talk a bit mentioning things about our pasts. Like how we both had seer blood coursing through our veins. She told me that she did not belong in this world, that she wasn't of any use to the world except to end it. Turning to her I said very softly, "To some, Himitsu...you are the world."

She fell silent at my words and we both just sat there listening softly to the sounds of the night. Suddenly there was a tap tap sound heard from another of the bedroom's windows. Moving from Himitsu I walked over to said window and openend it. Just as our friend Max leapt in through the window and landed in front of me, in a crouching position. She then sat up and returned to her normal height in a standing position. She looked between Himitsu and I. We both bowed our heads and moved back to sit on my bed.

"I spoke with Mallos tonight..and he told me--how I was going to die. The exact date and time, everything," said Max.

"We already know," I said lowly.

"Well, I knew you knew that it would be the seizures, but I felt that you would also want to know the date and time...He wants me to make the most of what little time that I have left."

"Yes," I said. "That would be Mallos' way..."

Max then looked at us and seemed to be pondering why we both looked so sad, or else seemed so out of it. But when she opened her mouth to voice the question, I leapt to my feet saying to the others, "Excuse me for a while."

I then walked around them and headed out my bedroom door, and down the stairs. Slipping on my shoes I then disappeared out the door. I needed to clear my head...there was too much there to think about right now...too much pain, and worry..potential fear.

I headed towards the Rock Gardens.

Sou, you would think that by now I would avoid that place...But I needed to be there now, there were two people that I needed to see, to speak with, and they were there...I had sensed them.

Arriving at the Rock Gardens, I once more approach the gazebo, only to see two forms sitting there. Drawing in a deep breath, I told myself to just stay calm. Knowing well that they knew I was there, hell, later on I learned that they had been expecting me.So anyhow, sitting on two of the benches were none other then Yami, and Mallos. Yami looked up at me as I approached, and just smirked. But he said nothing. I slipped into the bench kiddy-corner from Mallos. It took me a while before I actually started talking to the two of them, I mean, I had placed myself in a seriously vulnerable position. Yami, if I remember correctly, was the one who started talking. He began to ask me all sorts of things about Himitsu, none of which I answered or disclosed to him. Then we started getting off on the whole Armageddon ordeal. And--that struck a chord with me.

When Yami began to be his usual annoying self, saying things that he knew would get to me, things about Himitsu and about the end of the world, I leapt to my feet and then wandered across the gazebo to the side opposite the one I had just recently been sitting in. Bracing my hands against the railing, I drew in a deep breath, letting my eyes slip shut as I just listened to the sounds of the night.

"I know how the world is going to end, Yami...I don't need you to tell me that. With a final clash between light and shadow this world will end..it has already been prophesized." Sighing I breathed in the words of, "When the sky turns a hideous black color, Hell will rise up, and Heaven will fall...In a final clash between darkness and light, this world will end..."

Yami listened smirking, whereas Mallos simply nodded. Both..already knew....

Sighing my eyes fluttered open as I just gazed out across the gardens, lost in my thoughts. When I suddenly heard a voice ring out, across the gazebo, "Who are you talking to?" Surprised I snapped to just in time to turn and see Himitsu walking up the gazebo's steps.

"Oh, no one...I was just--thinking out loud." Himitsu just looked back at me and I could tell that she did not believe it. I sighed and then turned to look back out across the park. Himistu just placed her hands on her hips and began to look around the gazebo. She approached me and then picked up Mallos's scent.

"Ha! I knew it, you were talking with him. So then, Fox," her eyes gave a cool gleam. "Where is he?"

"Where is who?" I asked curiosly and Himitsu made a 'tsk sound.

"You know who I mean. The seer, where is he?"

"I'm afraid that I don't understand." I looked back into my friends crimson eyes and shuttered internally. "I haven't seen Mallos since the last time..that night, at the bridge.." But Himitsu was based believing in my lies, she glared coolly at me, and I felt a pang grip me.

"You're lying to me, Fox. I can smell it on you. Who do you honestly think that you are? You tell me to tell you things, to trust you, but then when I ask you a question you lie to me? That's low, Fox..majorly low."

I winced at my friends careless coolness. Ever since we had got back Himitsu had become so very cold towards me..a coldness that I had never seen her emit before.

"Himitsu, please..what has come over you? Why are you so cold towards me?"

"Oh so now again you want me to tell you what's bothering me? Well I think that I am going to have to decline..you lie to me, to hide the truth..So then, I have no need to tell you what's wrong with me, or what's on my mind."

I looked to my friend still disbelieving her coldness. Suddenly I saw a shadow appear behind her and grin, a hand snaked out an hit Himitsu on the ass, and she jumped and looked behind her. The shadow was that of Yami's.

"Now, now, Kira..Isn't there something that you need to attend to? Of course though..I could always replace him.." I saw Himitsu's eyes burn, and could only guess at one thing, that Yami had said something to her. But then she rounded on me, turning her back to the shadow.

"I've more important things to do, then to waste them with a liar of a fox, like you, Sakuuya," shot Himitsu, and then I saw Mallos's shadow appear..He appeared also behind Himitsu and whispered something to her, and again I saw Himitsu's anger flare, she turned and stormed off. Yami looked over his shoulder and smirked at us, then disappeared, following her.

I collapsed into one of the gazebo's benches, and just placed my head in my hands. "What is going on? Inari, please can't you tell me anything? What sort of darkness has befallen Himitsu that drives her to hate me so?"

Mallos then appeared at my side, but I kept my head down and my eyes adverted. For only just recently had the seer been whispering words of kindness, of thank yous, and such to me. But I didn't want to have to think of his words either..For while Yami tormented Himitsu, Mallos had been whispering to me that his time was drawing near..He had thanked me for being someone who cared..and admitted, though rather hinting, of his love for me..But, I didn't want to dwell on his words either..There was just so much going though my head..Thoughts and fears, great worries. During his conversation with me..in Himitsu's presence; when he told me that his was reaching his end..I had made him promise to me that he would come back before his end be at hand..he didn't know if he would be able to, but now, it seemed that he was able to.

"I just don't understand..what is going on?" I then turned to Mallos. "Those images that you gave her..what were they?" My voice rose slightly and sharpened into an almost demanding form. Mallos looked back, but said nothing. I stood up.

"Mallos, please..I am begging you..what did you give her in those images? What did you show to her?" I looked back at the seer, and my entire composure then softened, as I realized just what is was that I had come here for..I spoke up again, this time with my usual calm tone, but also one that hid a very faint tremor of fear. I asked him then, a simple question, "I know that the world is going to end with a clash between light and shadow..and I know that Kira is the darkness that will end the world..the world will end with her..But tell me, Mallos, I need to know...who is the light?"

Mallos glanced at me, unable to actually see me for he was blind, as I well knew; and gave a rueful smile. "Don't you know..."

I fell silent...

"The light, Sakuuya...is you."

Gasping quietly I looked away...for I knew in my heart the truth, but I didn't want to believe it.

"So, that's it.." I said. "That's Fate's plan? To pin me against my best friend..and to mark us as the bringers of the end?" I chuckled in disbelief. "Hn..she must have some crude sense of humor.." Mallos looked back at me, but I was now staring once more into the distance. "There's going to be so much pain..so very much..If nothing is to survive.."

I paused and just shook my head. "Is this humanity's fate? Is this their means of an end? Repentance for their sins? To face the world as it ends this lifetime?"

"Pain, is just but a part of life, Sakuuya..Everyone and everything faces it.." said Mallos lowly, tilting his head to better glance at me. But I then lost my cool.

"Don't you dare speak to me about pain..about knowing..about all things enduring it, suffering from it!" Mallos winced at my sudden sharpness that hid, behind my sapphire eyes, tears that slowly now began to trickle down my face. "I have seen pain. I have heard it. I have felt it. In the hospitals, I hear voices screaming in pain as they die...I hear the last breaths of life as it fades into the darkness of death..I hear people screaming out for help..I know pain." Mallos then stepped nearer to me and whispered, "And do you give consent?"

He then braced his two hands on either side of my head, and gave me a few of his memories, his visions, while making attempts to dull the pain as best as he can, but it was still overwhelming.

He showed me how the world was to end...He showed me mine and Himitsu's battle, among other visions...He then pulled back and looked at me. I just blinked and looked back, still trying to keep my footing. The pain he had given me had been dulled, but it still weakened me terribly, but I stood and I took it. For I knew well enough the pain of a seer, for the blood of a seer vaguely coursed though my own veins. Blood from my mother's side..my grandmother had been a seer, and perhaps it was because of such that I was able to endure even the dulled amount of pain from Mallos's visions. Which even so, dulled as it was, was more than enough to knock any human or anyone else, save those of seer descent off their feet, and into an unconscious state.

I glanced at Mallos, still standing there, the light from the gazebo being splayed across his form. He tilted his head and looked back.

"So that's it, then?" I said. "Kira and I will be the ones to end the world..does that mean, that tonight will find it to be the night that our friendship shatters?" Now it was Mallos's turn to flinch, for he had showed me nothing of the sort.

"I--cannot say.." replied Mallos, and then I turned to face him fully. Tear stains shining on my face in the light of the gazebo, but the tears had now stopped falling, as I came to grips with my resolve. My hand suddenly twisted nervously at my sides as I looked back at him, and his dark form, slightly obscured by the night. I approached him slowly, calmly. Then glanced aside, a few of my rosewood locks falling over my shoulder, and brushing almost somberly against my cheek in the faint breeze of the night.

"Mallos.." I said slowly. "Mallos--there is..there is something that I need to tell you..Something that I couldn't before because Kira had been present..but I...I..."

"Yes?" said Mallos.

Sighing and gasping, I looked back into his endlessly blank, black pools which were his eyes..and then closing my own I leaned in and kissed him, rather deeply I must admit...My hands wrapping gently about his neck, as although, surprised, Mallos's own arms fell to wind about my waist..But--we were not alone..as just before he could return my gesture, I heard him gasp, and felt him collapse into my own arms..My heartbeat began to flutter anxiously, as I kneeled down, and laid him gently upon the gazebo's floor, resting his head in my lap. He had a fatal stab mark on his back, that bled profusely, spilling onto the gazebo's floor pools of crimson.

"Mallos?!" I cried. "Mallos! What happened?!"

But then I looked up and saw what answered my questions for me. For I looked up and into the crimson gaze of my friend..looking up, my eyes befell Himitsu's shadowed form. She was standing there, so nonchalantly, holding a dagger now stained in Mallos's own blood.

With widening eyes, I just stared at her...someone I had always thought that I could trust...I looked back in disbelief, then collapsed over Mallos' now dead body..and sobbed...crying out, "Kira..what have you done?!"

Mallos' form vanished, leaving me now just alone in the gazebo with the one person that I thought I could always trust and count on, my friend..my closest, and best friend. I then bowed my head in sorrow as I stared into my lap, where just momentarily Mallos's head had lied. My eyes fell closed as sapphire tears once more fell from my eyes, while Kira just--stood there..

"Tell me please..I need to know..where will you be, when the world comes undone? When my spirit dies, where will you stand..Will we still be friends..will you still be there..or will you become like the shadows of this life..and just--fade away?"